Invasion Of Astro-Monster (1965)

Right, someone should have really kicked my butt years ago to get me making my way through all of the Godzilla films. Each new favourite seems to be equaled by another new favourite lately, and I am just loving it.

The plot this time around concerns some spacemen who find alien life on Planet X. These aliens are humanoid, and have to shelter whenever the surface of their planet is being attacked by King Ghidorah. Knowing how he was defeated before, the aliens would like to “borrow” Godzilla and Rodan, only requiring them until Ghidorah is no longer a threat to them. That’s the starting point anyway, but there may be another reason for wanting access to the kaiju residing on our planet.

We’re back in the safe and capable hands of director Ishirô Honda here, working once again with writer Shin’ichi Sekizawa, and the end result is as much fun as you could hope for. Okay, some may prefer these movies to feel a bit more tense, the large scale of the threat somehow makes it all seem less likely to end badly for the main characters, but this is well-paced and full of unexpected delights, whether it is seeing Godzilla and Rodan airlifted through space or watching Godzilla shuffle around in front of Ghidorah like a fleet-footed boxer.

Akira Takarada and Nick Adams play the two astronauts who encounter alien life on a far planet (located on the other side of Jupiter), and the two men do a decent job of looking bemused while remaining determined to do whatever is in the best interest of humanity. Yoshio Tsuchiya is the apparent leader of Planet X, a role he plays well enough as he is viewed with suspicion, eventually accepted, and then in charge of the grand plan that relies on controlling the kaiju. Jun Tazaki is the requisite scientist, and Kumi Mizuno does a great job as the lovely, but perhaps untrustworthy, Namikawa.

The effects displaying the moments of destruction are perfectly fine, neither the best nor the worst seen in these movies, but this works as well as it does because of the personality of the creatures. Following on from the depictions we saw in the last movie, a slight softening of Godzilla and Rodan to make them more acceptable reluctant “heroes”, this underlines why so many of us film fans will always maintain a soft spot for the performers in the rubber suits who brought these creatures to life.

Perhaps it will slide down my rankings as I continue to make my way through the main Godzilla movie series, but I am happy, for now anyway, to rate Invasion Of Astro-Monster as another fantastic monster mash. 

8/10

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Prime Time: Ricky Stanicky (2024)

I saw the trailer for Ricky Stanicky a couple of months ago and I wasn’t happy. First of all, it looked dire. Second, I knew I would still eventually watch it. And so here we are, but was it as dire as the trailer made it out to be?

After a childhood incident that requires some quick creativity, three friends realise how much they can help themselves by making use of an imaginary friend, named Ricky Stanicky. Ricky can be blamed for many  misadventures, he can be used to get out of other obligations, and life is just better with him available. That is, of course, until things are complicated by people wanting to meet Ricky. With the alternative option (coming clean after many years) not really an option at all, our main characters hire an adult entertainer/actor (John Cena) they met in Atlantic City. 

Starring Zak Efron, Andrew Santino, and Jermaine Fowler as the friends who keep the secret of Ricky Stanicky between them, this is a fairly enjoyable and predictable comedy that would have really benefited from pushing into much more outrageous and bawdier territory (which people might have expected from director Peter Farrelly, although he has certainly settled in to helming much mellower fare over the past decade). I enjoyed the leads well enough, but there should have been someone else on the mix, someone to help add laughs and elevate every scene. Santino is clearly positioned here as the most comedic of the cast, setting aside Cena for the moment, but he just isn’t good enough.

I am surprised that this doesn’t feel like a bigger mess though, considering at least half a dozen writers were responsible for the screenplay. While it lacks any big laughs, and even skimps on the milder chuckles, it works well for most of the runtime due to the potential of the premise. There’s also a very enjoyable second act that shows “Ricky” stealing the show and living up to his legendary reputation.

Efron has always been someone I enjoy seeing onscreen, and he is fine here as the man who desperately hopes to get through a busy time without being caught out for his many lies. Santino is okay, but not as funny as he should be, and the same can be said of Fowler, who is given a plot strand that never feels fully developed, making you wonder why it was included anyway. Lex Scott Davis and Anja Savcic have a few good moments, playing the partners of Efron and Santino, respectively, and William H. Macy is fun as their boss (accompanied in one or two scenes by Jane Badler, playing his wife). Cena is the star though, given another chance to showcase his comedy chops, and he tries hard to make up for the weaknesses elsewhere in the script, whether oozing confidence and knowledge about subjects that Ricky should be fluent in or being shown performing his act onstage as “Rock-Hard Rod”. He’s certainly game to give anything a go, and I appreciate how well he transitioned from one incarnation of his personality to the next, sensing an opportunity to turn Ricky into his big break.

The enthusiasm and talent of Cena isn’t enough though. This isn’t a good movie, although it also isn’t the horrible car crash I thought it might be. It’s just average. I was moderately entertained while it was on, but I am never going to revisit it. At least it doesn’t end in a way that seems to set up any sequel opportunities. There should only ever be one Ricky Stanicky.

5/10

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13 Ghosts (1960)

While I will mention the plot and the cast, while I will do my best to review 13 Ghosts in the same way I would review any other movie, a William Castle is a slightly different beast. The director was renowned for his gimmicks and showmanship, and it is important to bear that in mind when watching the films that best exemplify that (although it is good to remember that he also helmed a number of films that were a bit less sensational). 13 Ghosts was sold to people with the lure of Illusion-O and I will be getting back to that shortly.

Cyrus Zorba (Donald Woods) isn’t doing well. He is struggling to earn enough money to stop people from entering his family home, upsetting his wife (Hilda, played by Rosemary DeCamp), and taking away their furniture. Things look up when he inherits a house, one that may relieve the tension for his wife, daughter (Medea, played by Jo Morrow), and young son (Buck, played by Charles Herbert). The fact that the house is supposed to be haunted by numerous spirits is surely nonsense, right? Well, fortunately, there are also some special goggles that help people to see some of the spirits around them. 

While not on a par with his best movies (which both starred Vincent Price in two truly marvelous roles), 13 Ghosts is a fun time. I would have loved to have seen this in the cinema with the full Illusion-O experience. Patrons were apparently given a ghost viewer for the film, which allowed you to see or avoid the spooks, depending on whether you looked through the blue or red portion of the apparatus. It’s a simple way to filter the main image, and also allows Castle to present a number of phantoms that don’t have to stand up to very close scrutiny.

The script, written by Robb White (who collaborated with Castle many times), is disappointingly weak, but we know that it’s just a series of steps to move from one ghost to the next, perhaps even counting as we see each apparition. It lacks the wit and energy of other Castle movies, arguably hampered by the need to incorporate the USP throughout.

Thankfully, there’s a surprisingly enjoyable cast. Both Woods and DeCamp may be a bit weak, but they are often kept to one side as we spend time with Herbert (who manages to just avoid being too irritating as he happily seeks out the secrets of the house) and Morrow (who, to use a very well-worn phrase, positively lights up the screen). There’s also a good turn from Martin Milner, playing the lawyer who seems to be helping the family get things sorted, and a fun little role for Margaret Hamilton, with the most famous witch in cinema playing a housekeeper viewed as . . . a witch by young Buck.

There are good moments throughout this, even if you can see the strings moving things around onscreen, and the very last scenes are as devious and entertaining as they are predictable. I probably won’t revisit this one, apart from time I will spend checking out the wonderful wealth of bonus features on the blu-ray I own, but I enjoyed watching it while it was on. I have yet to see any William Castle film that I actively dislike. I hope things stay that way as I finally explore his other feature that I have had on my “to watch” pile for far too long.

6/10

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Mubi Monday: Yannick (2023)

Writer-director Quentin Dupieux has been doing great work for some time now, using the medium of film to have lots of fun and probe at the boundaries between audience and artist. Often using some wonderfully surreal premises, he is an acquired taste I have tended to always enjoy.

The starting point for Yannick is a stage play. Our lead character, the titular Yannick (Raphaël Quenard) is unhappy with it. He has travelled to see it, made it the centrepiece of his day off from work, and it is not distracting him from his own issues. We know this when he stands up to inform the three stage actors of this. One thing leads to another, and eventually leads to Yannick holding the actors and audience hostage as they work together to improve the play and give everyone a much better experience.

Clocking in at just over an hour in length (67 minutes is the full runtime, which includes credits), Yannick is a smart and intelligent look at the relationship between, yes, the audience and the artist. Dupieux is looking at a different facet of that relationship though, and I couldn’t help but view this as an exploration of the many recent incidents we have seen where fandoms turn toxic. Being a fan of something, or even just wanting to be a fan of something that doesn’t live up to your expectations and/or standards, doesn’t entitle you to attempt any kind of hostile takeover. Feedback and collaboration are both important, but it should all be for the right reasons, and at the right time. That might just be me though, and it is a stance not necessarily supported by the third act of this film, which may show Dupieux simply underlining how creators shouldn’t be averse to contributions from those with different viewpoints.

Wherever he lands on the issue, Dupieux does a great job of presenting a scenario that gives viewers plenty to chew on. Feeling very much like a play itself, the film benefits from the short runtime, being so densely packed with great dialogue and ideas, as much as it benefits from the casting.

While Pio Marmaï, Blanche Gardin, and Sébastien Chassagne are all very good in their roles, the actors in the play who are frustrated, angered, and scared at various times throughout the process of reworking their material, Quenard does a fantastic job of making his character feel unpredictable, and potentially dangerous, without ever seeming despicable. I recently enjoyed Quenard’s performance in Junkyard Dog, but this very different role has shown me that he is someone I definitely want to see as a lead in more movies.

Typically playful and thought-provoking, Yannick is another excellent work from Dupieux that will easily please fans of his style. It might even work well as a starting point for those who have yet to explore his filmography (the dialogue and dynamic crystallizing his main themes in a way that is more digestible than it is in some of his other films). Highly recommended, but mainly to people who will already have at least some inkling of what Dupieux likes to do.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Scoop (2024)

I didn't really have any interest in this project when I heard it was coming, but then I heard about the cast. For me, Andrew (and I won't refer to him by any title, considering the fact that he keeps trying to weasel back into royal duties he was supposed to be removed from) is someone who was, at the very least, guilty of something that made him pay out a considerable sum of money to settle a sexual abuse lawsuit with Virginia Giuffre, the young woman pictured alongside him in the photograph that would prove to be the major contributing factor to the fall from grace that he keeps trying to return from. I couldn't even watch the full interview, the clips I saw were just too cringe-inducing for me. But seeing how it all played out in a drama featuring performances from Gillian Anderson, Rufus Sewell, Billie Piper, and Keeley Hawes? Yeah, I became convinced that I might actually enjoy watching this.

And I did. There's not much to say in terms of a plot description here. This is based on the book by Samantha McAlister (played onscreen by Piper), the woman who arranged a number of great interviews for the BBC, and it shows how things all came together in time to provide us with one of the most incredible interviews of the last few decades. Sewell plays Andrew, Anderson is well-known BBC presenter Emily Maitlis, and Hawes plays Amanda Thirsk, an adviser to Andrew who ends up being convinced that a frank and full interview might just be the thing to end all of the speculation and rumours about him. 

There's only so much you can do with this to make it engrossing entertainment, considering most people will watch this with the knowledge of what was shown on TV. Although there's fun to be had from seeing Andrew being given enough rope with which to hang himself, all without breaking a sweat, it's arguably more interesting to see the tension and dynamics behind the scenes of the BBC, with equal attempts made to deliver relevant news content while simultaneously keeping an eye of the guests and conversation pieces that help to maintain decent viewing figures. The arguments that Sam McAlister has with her colleagues are reflections of how many members of the public have viewed the BBC in recent years (especially when they have so many guest appearances from the likes of Nigel Farage, for example, or try to spin old news into something a bit fresher), and her pivotal role allows viewers to feel like they are being guided around the environment by someone who recognises the flaws of the place, but still believes in how much good can be done there.

Written by Peter Moffat and Geoff Bussetil, and directed by Philip Martin, everyone here has the mix of experience that you'd expect, with nobody standing out for being awful or great. They are all competent and dependable pairs of hands, in my view, and they have excellent source material to work with (and, yes, I immediately bought McAlister's book, "Scoops", after seeing this). They also do themselves a massive favour by casting the leads pretty perfectly.

Although they have arguably the hardest jobs to do onscreen, both Anderson and Sewell are excellent in their roles, both capturing mannerisms and an essence of the famous people that they're portraying. Sewell is helped by a great make up team, while Anderson is helped equally by the fact that she's Gillian Anderson, although the make up team and costume designers also give her some assistance. Piper is equally good, in a different way. She shows the tenacity and daring that it took to get, and hold, the exclusive interview opportunity, as well as how hard she had to keep fighting to stay involved with the whole process. As for Hawes, it's odd to see her character become more and more sympathetic as she struggles to handle a situation that shouldn't really be within her job description. I wouldn't ever say that the real Amanda Thirsk wanted to help Andrew self-destruct on TV, but there's some hint of relief mixed in with the astonishment of what she ends up seeing and hearing during the interview. Maybe just a thankfulness that, one way or another, a certain chapter is over, even if it leads to a whole new mess for others to swarm in and deal with.

I won't rush to rewatch this, and I still can't bring myself to watch the original Newsnight interview (which the BBC have cannily started promoting again on their BBC iPlayer platform), but it's a well-crafted piece of work, acted perfectly by a bunch of people I tend to really enjoy watching onscreen. It's not going to rock your world, but it's a solid bit of entertainment that serves as a timely reminder of why Andrew should remain away from any public duties, and why he should have been completely cut off from the rest of the royal family by now. Maybe if he'd done something truly terrible, like fall in love with someone who wasn't 100% white (please note the sarcasm), then he would have been more strongly punished.

7/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Third Saturday In October (2022)

We have known for some time that nostalgia is a powerful tool when it comes to marketing and selling, and that has been a major part of many recent movie releases, from big blockbusters to the legacy sequels, and many horror movies that seem intent on recapturing that feeling you had when you went home with a videotape that contained some extra-nasty and traumatizing content. Sometimes that nostalgia takes the form of the kind of extreme splatter and practical effects that have been diluted and phased out by modern practices. Sometimes that nostalgia is presented via the entire aesthetic of a piece. The Third Saturday In October falls into the latter category.

It all starts with a scroll that explains the title. Not that the title needed more explanation, but maybe that is just me thinking that way. Anyway, an unrepentant killer is executed by the state, with only a couple of people turning up to witness the event. As this is a throwback to some old-school slasher fun, however, death is only a minor inconvenience in the journey of this killer. He is soon out to hack up unsuspecting victims, but there’s also time for people to goof around and start getting horny.

Having helmed a number of shorts and features throughout the past decade, he actually seems to have released his first film back in 2010, writer-director Jay Burleson uses the premise and concept here to show off how well he can commit to the grimy and endearingly crude replication of a special VHS horror find. It’s just a shame that he cannot do as well with the script and pacing, leading to the first two thirds of the film feeling like a bit of a slog.

Things are helped by the music and cinematography though, with compliments to Kevin Wooten and Chris Hilleke, respectively, for their work. This is definitely a case of some great audio and visual work in dire need of a much better framework to flesh out.

When it comes to the acting, you might say that everyone is in line with the material, but that’s not entirely correct. Some get to be a bit quirky and fun, such as Darius Willis in the role of Ricky Dean Logan, a character who insists on referring to the woman accompanying him on his hunt for a killer by her full name of Vicki Newton every time he speaks to her. K. J. Baker is a decent enough co-lead as the aforementioned Vicki Newton, but Lew Temple, Richard Garner, Libby Blake, Dre Bravo, Allison Shrum, and everyone else in the cast feels a bit underused or out of place. And Antonio Woodruff, in the role of the killer, Harding, is disappointingly blank throughout, playing a slasher so devoid of personality that they may as well have just put some kind of sports mask on his face and leaned further into the Friday The 13th vibe.

I have read some reviews of this that mention it is meant to be watched AFTER The Third Saturday In October Part V, but other reviews seemed to suggest that it didn't matter too much. There are no other instalments in between the two films, which adds to the fun of the main idea, so I will get to that one eventually (maybe even by next week), and I will try to figure out how the connections would work if the films were watched in reverse order. Who knows . . . maybe I will find elements there that help me to appreciate this a bit more. I am doubtful, but it could happen.

5/10

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Next Goal Wins (2023)

Presenting a fictionalised version of a story already presented to us in a documentary of the same name (a documentary I am now very keen to see), this is the story of the American Samoa football team and their attempt to turn their fortunes around after a brutal 31-0 defeat in the qualifying rounds for the 2002 World Cup.

Michael Fassbender is our lead, a washed up coach named Thomas Rongen. Rongen isn’t really known for his ability to shape winners. He is known for losing his temper. All that matters is that the American Samoa team feel like they are being given a shot though, even if the odds are majorly stacked against them. Rongen has to get used to the local way of life, and he has to get used to the idea that one of his better players (Jaiyah, played by Kaimana) is in a state of transition that everyone else accepts and appreciates.

I rattled off a quick bit of praise for this on social media as soon as the end credits had rolled, commenting on how much I enjoyed it and how it seemed to come along at a time when director Taika Waititi had/has fallen out of favour. To be clear here, whether or not you like this film doesn’t necessarily depend on your personal feelings about the Waititi, but this is, for me, a film that retains most of what I like about Waititi’s work without having too much of the baggage that now proves to be a bit irritating. For better or worse, he has become a celebrity director, which may explain why his cameo here feels like one of the weaker moments.

Overall, however, Waititi directs with his usual skill at handling the kind of gentle humour, weaving together predictable plot strands on the way to a third act where lessons are learned, obstacles are overcome, and viewers will be ready to smile, whatever the result of the final game of footie. The script, co-written by Waititi and Iain Morris, is everything you expect, although there’s the bonus of a real winning charm derived from the warmth and easygoing nature, and optimism, of the American Samoan people. The stakes aren’t too high either, which is pleasingly atypical, with the team still quite happy to celebrate their journey as they strive to score just one goal to show that they can.

Fassbender is very good in his main role, majorly grumpy and resentful of his lot in life as he hurtles to what we all hope will be a transformative experience. Kaimana is a delight, adding an important element to the team and the team spirit, her presence highlighting the focus on happiness and gratitude. Both Oscar Kightley and David Fane are great as individuals struggling to keep the football team as a viable entity, the former involved in a great little running joke that shows how many different hats he wears in his daily life, and Beulah Koale, Uli Latukefu, and the other main players get to have numerous memorable moments as they train hard to hopefully achieve a bit of on-pitch redemption. There are also small roles for the likes of Elisabeth Moss, Will Arnett, Rhys Darby, and Rachel House.

I really enjoyed this, but it’s something we’ve seen done in similar ways many times before. Think of any feelgood sports comedy drama and you will already know what to expect. It’s still worth a watch though, especially if you just want something easy to watch that will have you smiling throughout. 

7/10

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Ghidorah, The Three-Headed Monster (1964)

There’s no reason for me to be cagey about this film. It was the most fun I had this week with my clothes on. It’s a new favourite kaiju movie, but I am starting to worry that I will be saying that for every film I am belatedly discovering for the first time. I cannot imagine fans of these movies disliking this though. It is quite simply, to use the proper cinematic term, absolutely awesome.

Bear with me as I rush through the main plot points, which are quite ridiculous. A meteor hits the Earth. A princess, being guarded by a detective, seemingly dies in a plane crash, but then returns while seemingly possessed by the spirit of a Venusian prophet. The mighty Ghidorah is due to rise up and cause some stress for humans, to put it mildly, but there is a chance that Godzilla and Rodan could work together and overpower this mutual enemy . . . if they can be persuaded that Ghidorah IS an enemy. That persuasion comes from a young Mothra, with translations offered to the audience by the fairy twins (once again played by Emi and Yumi Itô).

If that all sounds pretty bonkers then, trust me, it is. It is also hilarious and entertaining, particularly during one key scene in the third act that is the kaiju equivalent of kids being talked into moodily doing some housework. As is so often the case, none of the human characters make much of an impression, although the oddness of the tale helps them a bit, but this is all about the monster madness, which is delivered with gusto in the finale.

Director Ishirô Honda is working again with writer Shin’ichi Sekizawa, and both seem to make the most of the silly premise, adding plenty of humour throughout to let viewers know that it’s fine to grin and chuckle your way through this one. And grin and chuckle you surely will.

The effects seem a bit cheaper and more crude than some of the previous stuff we have seen, but that just adds to the feeling that this has been made with an emphasis on the daffy fun. 

I will mention Yôsuke Natsuki, Yuriko Hoshi, Hiroshi Koizumi, and Akiko Wakabayashi here. They all do fine in their roles, the latter particularly enjoyable as the aforementioned princess (who, let’s not forget, appears to become possessed by a prophetic Venusian), but they are, as expected, secondary to the monsters. And when the monsters are onscreen, well, the humans are quickly forgotten.

If these films keep being as good as this then I will just kick myself harder for not watching many of them years before now. Part of me hopes they are wildly inconsistent, but part of me is absolutely gleeful at the prospect of more features that are as much fun as this one.

9/10

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Prime Time: Soul Survivors (2001)

I saw Soul Survivors when it first came out, when it hit the VHS rental market anyway, and I hated it. Even as a much younger horror movie fan, I saw it as something dull and tired. I never thought of it as a film I should revisit, but recently decided I should give it a second chance. After all, maybe I would respond more positively to it after years spent developing a tolerance for many bad movies. And writer-director Stephen Carpenter has been involved with other projects that I enjoy (including the wonderful Kindred). Damn me and my optimism. If anything, this was worse than I remembered.

I genuinely despair at the thought of even relating the plot here. A group of mopey young people just mope around, get into a car accident, and spend a lot more time moping around. This might not have been so bad if the cast didn’t include the lesser Affleck, the lesser Wilson, and the lesser Slayer, as well as a soundtrack and aesthetic that pretty much beats you over the head with how turn-of-the-21st-century it is.

If you wanted to be generous about Soul Survivors, not that I do, then you could accept the fact that it’s a very tame horror movie for teens who want to try out their first horror movie. It’s not scary, not gory, and the characters are almost all impossible to care about, but it’s a paddling pool for people to dip their toes into before they put on the water wings and start learning to swim, if they don’t mind the water temperature.

I don’t know what Carpenter was thinking though. He was either hampered by a studio wanting him to make the blandest and most predictable film possible, or he forgot every other movie made in the history of cinema and figured that he was making something cool and entertaining for teen viewers. There are episodes of “Goosebumps” and “Are You Afraid Of The Dark?” scarier than this. Not to deride those shows. I just mention those as their target demographic skews much younger.

The cast really don’t help at all. If I forget to mention anyone here then please know that it is because I forgot about them while the movie was playing. Melissa Sagemiller is the lead, and there’s probably a good reason why she hasn’t (as far as I’m aware) been front and centre of too many, or any, other major releases. She had a run of a few movies, her small amount of good luck was used up, and she’s now seen more often in various TV roles. Eliza Dushku, who was given the prime spot on the poster, has fared slightly better, with a couple of better movies under her belt, but I have never been a big fan of her presence. Luke Wilson purses his lips and looks sad-eyed, which is no stretch, Casey Affleck keeps appearing throughout the film (and I tend to hate him, but also, dammit, love some of his best performances . . . of which this is very much not one), and Wes Bentley is just about the only highlight, overpowering the weak script and direction with his essential Wes Bentleyness (aka the menacing doppelgänger of Donnie Darko). 

Some people out there will still have a soft spot for this, if only for the soundtrack, but I implore those people to leave this dead and buried, where it belongs. I can easily recommend them at least half a dozen movies that cover very similar territory in a much better way. When it comes to mainstream horror movies aimed at a teen audience, this is about as bad as you can get. Absolutely atrocious from start to finish, and please feel free to give me a slap if I ever start to wonder if I was too harsh on it.

2/10

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Dune: Part Two (2024)

The film that fans of Dune: Part One were forced to wait an extra five months to see in cinemas, that delay seems to have done nothing to dampen the enthusiasm of those eager for more visually gorgeous sci-fi on the big screen. It certainly gave me time to FINALLY watch the first instalment and join those who were eagerly awaiting the concluding part of the tale. Except, and I feel it’s important to say this somewhere in this review, this isn’t really a conclusion to the tale. It’s another lengthy chapter, and I was disappointed as the end credits rolled after an ending that didn’t feel like a proper ending. It might be in line with the source material, and there is certainly more to come from Denis Villeneuve working in this world, but that didn’t help me when I was underwhelmed by the way in which things just started to move towards the next part of the epic tale.

I will give a brief, and very poor, summary of the plot. After the events of the first film, Paul Atreides (Tinothée Chalamet) and his pregnant mother, Jessica (Rebecca Ferguson), are living with the desert-dwelling Fremen on the planet of Arrakis. Powerful people still want to destroy the Fremen, all to control the spice and become even more powerful, but Paul may well be the secret weapon that helps to end the ongoing battles. Or he may well cause even more destruction and bloodshed. There are strong bonds forged, and broken, there is a prophecy that many start to doubt, and there is a need to learn how to walk without rhythm in order to stay safe from the giant sandworms.

Although a visual feast from start to finish, as well as an aural feast too (thanks to Hans Zimmer and everyone working in the sound department), Villeneuve and Jon Spaihts have once again done a magnificent job of compressing an epic tome into a digestible and entertaining movie. It has a slightly different tone from part one, mainly due to the fact that we are witnessing Paul exploring his true potential, but it’s often the equal of the first film.

The cast are perfect, as many of them already proved last time around. Both Chalamet and Ferguson get to be a bit stronger and meaner this time, which is an interesting change to their characters, Javier Bardem has a bit more fun in his role, and Zendaya gets to do a lot more than just be some mysterious woman in a vision. Christopher Walken and Florence Pugh are sorely underused, as is the wonderful Léa Seydoux, while the likes of Stellan Skarsgård, Dave Bautista, and Josh Brolin are given just time to stay involved in the ongoing plotting and scheming until Austin Butler comes onscreen and threatens to steal the entire movie away from everyone.

I have less to say about this than I had to say about Dune: Part One, but only because it is so perfectly in line with the groundwork set out a few years ago. Villeneuve is arguably one of the best directors around when it comes to creating an entire world in which to immerse viewers (imagine the worlds we could see if he ever worked alongside Guillermo del Toro), and this is incredible stuff. It’s grandiose, it seems to emanate dry heat from every frame, and the prospect of getting to spend more time in this world is the silver lining to the small cloud that is that non-ending.

Much like the spice featured at the heart of the tale, this is pure and powerful stuff. And that’s without even mentioning how depressingly it parallels events in our reality that have been ongoing for decades. 

8/10

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Mubi Monday: Results (2015)

It is easy to view gym life as quite a cult. Those who work there tend to be positive and full of motivational mantras, and those who end up responding well to the lifestyle end up acting like someone who has been recently converted to some kind of new religion. I don’t say this with malice. I speak from experience, and that experience is ongoing as I try to remain committed to my own gym and fitness schedule. Results is a movie that has fun with this idea, especially in the way it presents two fitness instructors with two very different ways of viewing life.

Kevin Corrigan plays Danny, a man who wants to get into shape. He wanders into a gym and chats to Trevor (Guy Pearce), who ends up pairing him up with a trainer named Kat (Cobie Smulders). It turns out that Danny is quite rich. It also turns out that he finds Kat attractive. Furthermore, Trevor also has a thing for Kat. What follows is a constant clash of differing attitudes as every one of these three main protagonists is somehow helped by the others to correct their path through life.

Both Pearce and Smulders are great fun here, butting heads in a way that you know is just distracting them from a chance to see their relationship potential. Pearce has to be almost constantly optimistic and positive throughout, while Smulders enjoys being a bit more confrontational and carefree. Corrigan is an actor I have loved seeing in supporting roles for years, and his excellent turn here makes me wish he had many more people willing to give him this amount of screentime. Giovanni Ribisi is good fun in a small role, a partying lawyer, and Anthony Michael Hall feels as if he is channeling Dolph Lundgren whenever he appears onscreen as a kettlebell guru named Grigory.

Written and directed by Andrew Bujalski, who has helmed at least three gems in the last decade or so, Results is a well-constructed comedy drama that stays enjoyable throughout, even in the scenes that hint at darker or more cringe-inducing options. This is as much to do with the performances as it is to do with the script, but Bujalski clearly has a talent for dialogue and characterization that attracts some great actors to his projects. It is also worth noting that this isn’t a film making fun of those who enjoy fitness or gym life. It is saying that there is no one easy “fix” for any of us, whether in the gym or just in life, but nobody is mocked here for trying to better themselves, even while they struggle. As anyone who has been trying to get fit for a decent amount of time can tell you, you can learn just as much from failures as you can learn from success.

There might be some people who would have preferred this to be a sharper film, a meaner one, but I think Bujalski has judged it perfectly. It’s a typical look at some characters trying to sort out their problems and create a decent future for themselves. They just all happen to be connected by their ongoing attempts to develop healthy bodies and healthy minds.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Emily The Criminal (2022)

Although I like her onscreen presence, and although she tends to pick a variety of interesting projects, Aubrey Plaza being in a movie isn't ever a guarantee that I will enjoy it. That seems to be changing though, especially in the movies that also have her serving in some kind of producer role, and Emily The Criminal is one of her best roles yet.

A feature debut from writer-director John Patton Ford, this is the tale of a young woman who struggles to get a decent break in life. She is weighed down by mistakes in her past, including a felony charge and a whole lot of student loan debt, but she knows that the current system is making things much harder than they need to be. Eventually offered the chance to make a quick $200 in a credit card scam, Emily sees a way to massively improve her life. The scam is overseen by Youcef (Theo Rossi), who ends up teaching Emily more and more ways to improve her profit-making opportunities. But with greater reward comes greater risks, of course.

While I went into this expecting a decent little character study, from the title and the marketing of the movie, I soon realised that it was interested in offering a bit more than that. Emily The Criminal IS all about Emily, and her new-found talent for some criminal activities, but it's also a reminder of just how badly the system works against people who struggle and sweat through years to make up for the ongoing repercussions of past mistakes. Although it won't happen to everyone, many people will have made one or two mistakes in their youth that lands them in trouble with the police, and even more people will end up in some kind of debt (planned or unplanned) at least once. Emily The Criminal shows how hard it is to move away from those things, especially in a society that has now seemingly stacked the odds in favour of employers who want to make use of unpaid interns, employees trapped by the need to keep working all hours of the day to make the most of their low wage, and the apparently blissful move towards a "gig economy". That last part was meant to be completely sarcastic, by the way.

Ford packs a lot of great little moments into the 97-minute runtime, whether it's showing us Emily attending a job interview being conducted by someone trying to blindside her with information about her past, the tense transactions where Emily wants her fraud to go undetected until she is away from the shop/seller/buyer, or a fantastic exchange between our lead and a powerful employer (Gina Gershon) who thinks she is doing someone a huge favour by offering them, well, something that isn't a huge favour.

Plaza is excellent in her role, adding a tooughness and determination to her usual constant eye-rolling at the awfulness of the world and people around her. It's arguably the best role she's had in a long time, and she sinks her teeth into it with vigour. Rossi is also great in the role of Youcef, a young man who ends up running a successful crime scene without having to be the typically brutal and unfeeling crime boss. The real sense of menace comes from Youcef's partner/cousin, Khalil, and Jonathan Avigdori does very well with that character. Gershon tries hard to steal her one scene, and it's a great back and forth with Plaza there, and there is also excellent support from Megalyn Echikunwoke (a friend, arguably), Bernardo Badillo (a colleague who leads Emily to her new "career opportunity"), as well as Craig Stark, Sarah Allyn Bauer, and everyone else helping to make the onscreen world feel busier and more realistic than it actually is.

I'm not sure if this will win over anyone yet to come around to Plaza, she's an acquired taste and some just won't ever take to the various shades of her standard onscreen persona, but it's certainly a film that I recommend everyone makes time for. Some will view it as a justification of criminals committing crimes. I view it as a condemnation of a society that doesn't do anything more than give lip service to the ideas of rehabilitation, self-care, and self-improvement.

9/10

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Shudder Saturday: Mute Witness (1995)

A film that seems to have been beloved by genre fans over the past few decades, Mute Witness has long been on my viewing list. It wasn't always easy to get hold of though, a situation that has now completely changed, thanks to the fact that it can be found on streaming, as well as on a shiny disc release from Arrow Video. Maybe, just maybe, that easier availability will see people slightly re-appraising the film, and perhaps no longer viewing it as some lost classic.

The plot is quite simple. Marina Zudina (billed here under a slghtly different spelling of her surname, Sudina) plays Billy, a mute makeup artist working on a Moscow film set who ends up witnessing the making of a snuff film one evening. This leads to her being pursued by various members of a far-reaching criminal network, some who may also be in the police force, and the only people that may be able to help her are her sister, Karen (Fay Ripley), and Karen's boyfriend, Andy (Evan Rochards).

Written and directed by Anthony Waller, who followed this up with, ummmmm, An American Werewolf In Paris, this is a decent idea turned into a decidedly okay movie, but it's far from a classic blend of tension and darkness, although one or two moments (including the witness of the main murder) come close to brilliance. Things aren't helped by the fact that the cast has a couple of familiar British faces dropped into the middle of the Russian setting (Ripley being the main one, but there's also a jarring cameo from the wonderful Alec Guinness that feels exactly like the massive favour it clearly was), amplifying the feeling that most of the Russian players came directly from "Rent-A-Russian-Heavy Inc."

Zudina is good in the lead role, expressive and easy to root for, but she's only equalled by Oleg Yankovskiy (also credited with a different spelling of a surname, Jankowski), playing a man named Larsen who is enjoyably difficult to gauge for most of his screentime. Is he actually good, and able to help our lead, or is he yet another member of the crime ring? Ripley and Richards try their best, hampered by a script that wants to put them in peril while also keeping them generally safe enough to get to the third act, and most of the other cast members are suitably menacing, whether that's done deliberately or not.

While I appreciate that this was obviously put together with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, it's a shame that no one aspect of it feels as good as it could be. From the acting to the cinematography, from the music to the production design, you can almost feel the desperation to simply get the film made permeating every frame. While everyone involved can be proud of having actually completed a decent movie, I'm not surprised by the fact that I recognise so few of the names in the cast and crew (although it's worth noting that many have remained working in Russia, a cinematic region I cannot claim to be overly familiar with).

Anyway, to sum it all up, Mute Witness is good, but I don't think it came close to being great. Ironically enough, I'm bemused by how much time people have spent talking this one up since the mid-'90s.

6/10

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Mean Girls (2024)

Maybe it is my brain refusing to accept the passage of time, maybe it is the idea that turning Mean Girls into a musical isn’t a very good idea (although this was already a stage show before being turned into this film), but I was not looking forward to seeing this. The cast of the original movie were all so perfect, the script was consistently brilliant, and it hasn’t exactly faded away into irrelevance since it first hit our screens. Despite my major misgivings, and an extra Spidey-sense tingle when they advertised this without letting people know it was a musical, I tried to stay open-minded. I needn’t have bothered. This is pretty dire.

Angourie Rice plays Cady Heron, a teenage girl who ends up experiencing the ups and downs of high school when she finally gets a chance to attend one after time spent being home-schooled by her mother (Jenna Fischer) while they lived in Africa. Cady struggles, but is soon befriended by Janis (Aul’i’ Cravalho) and Damian (Jaquel Spivey). After Janis and Damian explain the school cliques to Cady, and then see her unexpectedly befriended by “the plastics”, they come up with a plan to destabilize and break down the established heirarchy. It all relies on taking down the top mean girl, Regina George (Reneé Rapp), and her two main confidants (Karen, played by Avantika, and Gretchen, played by Bebe Wood).

With Tina Fey still in charge of the writing, having adapted Rosalind Wiseman’s book for the original movie and then worked on the musical, it’s impossible to call this a completely laugh-free zone. Unfortunately, the funniest lines are the lines that worked so well in the first film, and were arguably all delivered better by that original cast (with no offence intended to the players here).

Married co-directors Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr. feel locked in by the script, and they aren’t helped by the weak selection of songs, all of which lack energy and creative staging. The production design, wardrobe choices, etc. all work very well, but the script and direction stumble in between each one of the unwelcome songs.

The cast try hard, and it is because of them that I kept willing this to improve before the ending rolled along. Rice is a decent lead, although she does better with the wide-eyed innocence than she does in the third act of the film, and Rapp is such a great Regina that a better film around her would show her to be equal to the Regina played by Rachel McAdams. Fey and Tim Meadows reprise their roles, but somehow don’t do quite as well, Fischer is sweet in her few scenes, and Busy Philipps is fun as the wannabe-cool mom this time around. Sadly, the rest of the cast have to settle for being lesser replacements for their original counterparts. Cravalho, Spivey, Avantika, and Wood are all good. They just aren’t as good as those who made the roles their own the first time around. The same can be said of Christopher Briney (playing the young man who catches Cady’s eye) and Mahi Alam (head of the mathletes).

If you love the original Mean Girls then I don’t imagine you will love this. If you have yet to see it then I don’t imaging you will love this. It is hard to think of who will get the most from it, especially when the original film is just so much better, and isn’t punctuated by unmemorable and unnecessary songs.

3/10

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Gamera, The Giant Monster (1965)

When it comes to giant monsters that have caused havoc throughout various Japanese movies, Godzilla will always be at the very top of the charts. There are a number of strong contenders for the number two spot though. I love Mothra, for example, and one or two others have sizeable fanbases, but Gamera is surely the one that comes closest to dethroning Big G as the monster king. It is another great creation, a giant turtle, and has, in my limited experience, been served well by a number of consistently great movies through the years.

This first film featuring the giant flying turtle (because that is what Gamera is, and I like to think of it as a distant cousin of The Great A’Tuin) sees the giant beast being rudely awakened by a burst of atomic energy and subsequently watched with awe and trepidation as scientists hatch a plan to get rid of them. That’s about it, in the simplest terms, although it is worth noting that the plan will make use of more energy resources, and there’s also a young boy who just loves turtles.

Directed by Noriaki Yuasa, and it is worth noting that this is not a Toho Studio production (Gamera came to us courtesy of Daiei Film), this is absolutely on par with any other kaiju film you can think of. The practical work is very enjoyable, the small handful of human characters are pretty insignificant in comparison to the titular creature, and the finale is a wonderful use of movie science that stretches plausibility while feeling absolutely viable in this onscreen world. Writer Niisan Takahashi has the kind of extensive filmography that many Japanese writers have, but Gamera is the creation that provides him with a proper legacy, and this is an excellent first outing for the monster.

As for the cast, Eiji Funakoshi is perfectly fine as the main scientist of the film, but it’s young Yoshiro Uchida who almost steals the film, his character feeling a connection to Gamera that allows him to remain unafraid while everyone else panics and evacuates any potential target areas. That’s all I need to say, especially when we all know who the real star is.

I have already seen a couple of the later Gamera movies, films from a different era with even more impressive tricks and effects onscreen, so maybe that has given me a slight bias, but this is a very enjoyable debut for what I would say is the second-best kaiju in Japanese cinema. 

8/10

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Prime Time: Reality (2023)

With a script crafted from FBI transcript of the featured incident, Reality is an impressive directorial debut from Tina Satter that features a performance from Sydney Sweeney that is so good that I finally see why she is having such a hot moment right now.

Sweeney plays Reality Winner, a young woman who works for the NSA. There's something not quite right on the fateful day that we viewers get to "meet" her though, as soon becomes obvious when she's approached by FBI agents (Garrick and Taylor, played respectively by Josh Hamilton and Marchánt Davis) outside her home. They seem to think that Reality may have something to do with a major story, confirmed by a classified document, that has been leaked to the press.

I suspect that many people are more familiar with this story than I was, especially if you live in the USA and keep abreast of major political debates and news coverage. I didn't know what this was all about, and I didn't have any idea about the outcome, so a lot of the film felt to me like some kind of potential Kafka-esque nightmare scenario. The FBI agents were just as unnerving in their pleasantness as they would have been with a more aggressive and forceful approach, and I wasn't even sure if people were presenting themselves honestly to the perplexed and nervous Reality.

Although it may seem strange to say it, considering how the dialogue is lifted directly from another source, the script, co-written by Satter and James Paul Dallas, maintains an air of authenticity throughout, punctuating the ongoing conversation with subtle changes in the focus of the characters and a deliberate highlighting of any words and phrases that have been redacted. What could have been a dry and dull conversation piece is turned into a very tense and thought-provoking examination of patriotism, freedom, different ideas of what constitutes duty, and the rigidity of certain practices and protocols.

Sweeney is fantastic in the main role, portraying a character used to remaining calm in difficult circumstances, due to her military background and, perhaps, her role in the NSA. She's never less than completely believable in the role, and manages to have viewers on her side without any overdone manipulation or overt appeals for sympathy. Both Hamilton and Davis are equally good, although it's the former who spends more time in direct conversation with Sweeney's character, and Benny Elledge adds some extra menace as another agent identified as Unknown Male.

Not a film I will rush to rewatch, and not one I think anyone else will rush to rewatch either, but Reality is something that everyone should see once. It's a story that everyone should know. Especially people like me, who actually missed it all when it was a leading conversation piece in various news outlets.

8/10

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Imaginary (2024)

Considering how weak many of his movies are, I have seen quite a few of the movies directed by Jeff Wadlow. I would recommend some of them, others I would encourage you to avoid, but he certainly seems to be doing a good enough job to be allowed to keep helming some slick, and often fairly bloodless, mainstream horror movies. He also co-wrote this screenplay with Greg Erb and Jason Oremland, which allows me to feel no guilt as I put most of the blame on him for just how weak and dull this is.

DeWanda Wise is Jessica, stepmother to a moody teen (Taylor, played by Taegen Burns) and a younger little girl (Alice, played by Pyper Braun). Her partner, the father of the girls, is a man named Max (Tom Payne), but the movie gets him out of the way very quickly, ensuring that he has no actual character development while the focus stays on Jessica and the girls. Alice starts to spend more and more time in the company of an imaginary friend, Chauncey, and her behaviour becomes more troubling. It also quickly becomes obvious, to Jessica anyway, that Chauncey may not be as imaginary as most imaginary friends.

While they have been in the industry for some time, nothing in the filmographies of Wadlow, Erb, or Oremland made me optimistic about Imaginary, and I was right to approach it with caution. I am not saying this to be pithy or clever, but the biggest thing working against it is a lack of real imagination. The first half of the movie feels like every other horror movie we have seen featuring a woman trying to develop some kind of bond with step-children who are starting to pull further away from her. There is a sinister undercurrent to the childish playtime of young Alice, and a number of conversations start to hint at the fact that Jessica may be forgetting a time in her life when she was acting very much like Alice. All very predictable and obvious stuff, and the big finale delivers nothing to make the slog worthwhile, hampered by a lack of scale and an inability to dive fully into the darkness.

Wise is decent enough as the central adult, doing everything that is asked of her as things get slightly more ridiculous with every minute of the runtime, Burns is a very standard moody teen, and Braun is almost a typical little girl, although she suffers at the hands of writers that make her a bit too unpleasant every now and again. Betty Buckley is a neighbour who helps to reveal details from the past, Samuel Salary is the hospitalized father of our lead, and one or two others appear to either receive a fright or look bemused by the developing situation.

I am sure that this will still do enough to satisfy mainstream cinema patrons who want some chills and thrills during their visit, but I don’t see it having any appeal for anyone who has already started to take a deeper dive into the delights and terrors offered up by the horror genre. Visually lacklustre, written with barely enough energy to transition effectively from one scene to the next, and lacking the ability to even make the most of the jump scares, this is a complete waste of time, especially when there have been one or two horror movies from the past decade that feature more terrifying imaginary friends causing terror and havoc.

Not the worst horror film I have seen this year, but it certainly puts itself forward as a strong contender.

3/10

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Mubi Monday: Affliction (1997)

If you're struggling to think of any film to watch on a very Catholic holiday, let's say you're not in the mood for something highly religious but you want something in line with the calendar, then I recommend one of the many films from Paul Schrader. They're all practically dripping with Catholic guilt, and you could argue that Affliction is up there with his very best/most intense.

Nick Nolte plays Wade Whitehouse, a small-town cop who is struggling to maintain control of his temper, his life, and how his turbulent childhood and family life keeps crashing in to his present frame of mind, an unwanted guest smashing up the insides of his heart and mind. He is trying to keep shared custody of his young daughter, Jill (Brigid Tierney), ends up becoming suspicious of a hunting accident that involves a young man named Jack (Jim True), and only finds some solace in the company of Margie (Sissy Spacek). Things are about to get worse, however, when things happen that lead to him having to spend more time with his abusive father (James Coburn).

Based on a novel by Russell Banks, Affliction is a film that feels very much like a murky neo-noir for almost half of the runtime, albeit one that has Nolte being as typically gruff and dangerous as he has been in so many other movies . . . or maybe specifically because of that. It's easy to see why Schrader was drawn to the material - the tension throughout it, the exploration of the sins of the father reverberating through the lives of the sons (the brother of Nolte's character is played by Willem Dafoe, who also narrates parts of the film) - and he is helped by a cast who are all easily up to playing the ramped-up emotions of the piece.

Nolte is excellent, and this was at a time when he was on a hell of a run (the films themselves may not all be memorable, Nolte was brilliant in all of them). He veers between helplessness and misdirected rage with great ease, and his character carries both of those extremes around with him at all times, played like a physical weight on his shoulders. Dafoe is an excellent counter-balance, showing the image of a son who has tried to distance himself from a past that he knows could still endanger and harm him. Spacek gets to be a real sunbeam, someone and something that we know Nolte should be treating well enough to keep in his life. She knows who she is getting attached to, but she thinks that she can help him move forward while he spends too much of his time looking backward. Both True and Tierney are decent in their roles, as is Holmes Osborne (playing the town selectman, Gordon LaRivere), but all of them pale into insignificance under the looming shadow of Coburn's monstrosity. While Coburn doesn't have to be nuanced or subtle (and what "villain" in any Schrader movie is nuanced or subtle), he throws himself fully into being so loathsome, and as cruel as possible, that viewers will want to see him punished, no matter his advanced age and possible diminishing physical strength.

While it seems to explore anger issues, alcoholism, small-town business dealings, domestic violence, and much more, the main strand running all the way through this, to the surprise of nobody who has experienced any other Schrader movie, is guilt. Guilt for things not done in the past, guilt for things happening in the present, and guilt for any possible future created by the reverberations of those things. Not a film to pick when you want something disposable and distracting, Affliction remains worth your time when you're in the mood to observe the unravelling of a hurt person hurting people.

8/10

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Netflix And Chill: Damsel (2024)

With a cast that includes Millie Bobby Brown, Ray Winstone, Angela Bassett, Robin Wright, and Shohreh Aghdashloo, and with Juan Carlos Fresnadillo in the director's chair, I went into Damsel with as much optimism as I could muster. That was tough though. The trailer didn't really win me over, and all of the reviews seemed to be fairly harsh. Sadly, most people who saw this before me were correct to warn others away from it. It's not good.

Brown plays Elodie, a young woman who is handed over by her father and stepmother (Lord and Lady Bayford, played by Winstone and Bassett) to be married to Prince Henry (Nick Robinson). This will end the money problems for the area ruled over by the Bayfords, but the marriage is not intended to last. It's not long until Elodie discovers that she is to be used as a sacrifice to appease a giant dragon (voiced by Aghdashloo). She's determined to fight back and survive though.

Despite already hearing a lot of negative talk about this, I hoped for something that might subvert some fantasy adventure movie tropes and allow Brown to be a badass able to draw on her courage and intelligence to face off against a terrifying enemy. That's not what writer Dan Mazeau is interested in though, and I should have known the screenplay would be a major weak spot, considering the previous two movies that he worked on. The problem with Damsel is summed up in a scene when the dragon compliments Elodie on being smart enough to stay quiet while it is trying to locate her, immediately followed by a sequence in which it seems as if our lead character makes as much noise as possible while trying to stay alive. Seriously, I wondered if it was going to tip over into parody at this point.

Director Fresnadillo isn't working at anywhere close to his best, hampered by a script that doesn't have enough substance to it and poor cinematography from Larry Fong (who may, in turn, blame others for leaving him stuck with little more than dark caves and tunnels to try and make interesting onscreen). The lighting is too low for most of the runtime, although I will say that things are much better in the scenes that AREN'T set in the dragon's lair, and this has a smothering effect on almost every other department.

Things could have been saved if the cast worked though. I think me saying that already indicates further disappointment though. Brown isn't engaging enough in the lead role, unhelped by a script that only seems interested in building up to different moments and lines of dialogue that are ultimately underwhelming, and Winstone, Bassett, and Wright are all sorely underused. The highlight is Aghdashloo, her unmistakable voice used brilliantly to realise a sly and fierce creature that is equally well-realised visually by the computer programmers working on the VFX.

Not helped by the fact that the few decent moments will remind most viewers of a very popular animated franchise, Damsel is a disappointing and unexciting trudge through familiar territory made by people who seem to think they are delivering something clever and subversive.

3/10

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Shudder Saturday: The Strange World Of Coffin Joe (1968)

If I hadn't known that The Strange World Of Coffin Joe was an anthology horror movie before watching it then I might have been a bit disappointed, especially if craving more of the twisted madness of the previous two movies in this series. But I did know about the format of the film, and I am mentioning it here to ensure that other people are equally prepared.

There are three tales presented here, all within a runtime of 80 minutes, which ensures decent pacing throughout, and they are enjoyably simple. Each tale serves as a framing device for some dark and disturbing event, but the film suffers slightly from the fact that the first segment remains the strongest of the three.

First of all, a local dollmaker is celebrated for his beautiful and realistic dolls, but he ends up targeted by criminals who realise that he doesn't keep his money in a bank. With four beautiful daughters also at risk, the dollmaker seems destined to experience great loss and pain, but might find a way to turn the situation to his advantage. Second, a balloon seller becomes obsessed with a beautiful woman he sees every day, but her wedding day is looming.  Unfortunately, the wedding day is marred by tragedy, although the obsessive man is not deterred from trying to get close to the woman. Third, and finally, a professor discusses the theory that instinct will always overcome reason and love. To help prove this, he invites a rival professor, accompanied by his wife, to his home, where an extended episode of sadistic unpleasantness will be played out.

Director José Mojica Marins, who also stars as the evil professor in the third tale, is once again interested in showing the darkest parts of human nature alongside a small amount of philosophising to help provide an excuse for everything onscreen. The screenplay may be credited to Rubens Francisco Luchetti, who would work with Marins on quite a few more movies after this one, but there's no doubt that this is another showcase for the character namechecked in the title, even if he doesn't really get involved in any of the horrific tales (he basically serves as a host, although the evil professor feels like a character that could easily have been turned into Coffin Joe with only the slightest of adjustments).

While other cast members all do well enough in their roles, I'm not going to risk confusing and mis-spelling their names here, especially when I don't have exact cast details to hand (my fault, I have yet to really deep dive into the wonderful bluray boxset). And, with respect, it doesn't really matter. As the film title implies, this is all about the horror icon that is Coffin Joe, a figure casting his shadow over the proceedings even while not onscreen. Marins delivers another delightfully sinister turn when in front of the camera, but his direction maintains a voyeuristic and gleeful wallow in debauchery that retains the spirit of Coffin Joe for every minute of the runtime.

A step down from the two previous films I have seen from Marins, this is still enjoyable stuff, and it contains a number of startling images that help it to retain the sense of danger and madness that go wherever Coffin Joe goes.

6/10

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Doctor Jekyll (2023)

Okay, I am going to start this review with a note. I will always strive to refer to people by their preferred names and pronouns. It's not being "woke", contrary to vocal idiots who keep crying about it. It's offering the basic level of politeness that we automatically tend to offer to anyone while not obsessing about what toilet facilities they want to use. With that in mind, Eddie Izzard is credited here as Eddie Izzard, and I'll be referring to them as such here.

A reworking of the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale, Doctor Jekyll played well to horror film festival audiences last year, with many singling out the performance from Izzard as being well worth your time. I was eager for this to hit the VOD market, and made time for it this week when I was able to purchase a digital copy of it. I'm happy to have given it my support, but I am a bit surprised by those who heaped so much praise on it, suspecting this may be another case of the festival bump that can often occur when watching a new film with a like-minded group of genre fans (something I am sure I have been guilty of myself). Or maybe it was also helped by the love for the Hammer Studios name, who are behind the distribution of it here in the UK.

Scott Chambers plays Rob, a young man trying to get his life back together after serving some time in prison. He ends up being given a job caring for the enigmatic Doctor Nina Jekyll (Izzard). Doctor Jekyll seems to like Rob, keen to give him a chance even while her assistant, Sandra (Lindsay Duncan), just seems to want rid of him. As we all know, but our lead character here crucially doesn't, you tend to have a Hyde wherever you have a Jekyll. This particular Hyde (Rachel Hyde) has a plan, and Rob is an unwittingly vital part of it.

Written by Dan Kelly-Mulhern, his first and only credit so far, this is a decent reworking of the text that feels majorly boosted by the canny use of Izzard in the titular role. The thematic strands being explored, and tied together into a strong narrative rope, feel both timely and well worth including to modernise and rework the timeless tale of terror. Director Joe Stephenson isn't a complete newcomer, having previously worked on a number of TV shows and a previous film, Chicken, where he also worked with both Chambers and Morgan Watkins (who plays Rob's brother, Ewan), and he handles things here very well, keeping the focus on the performances without making it all feel hampered by the fairly limited locations and small cast.

I cannot overstate how great Izzard is in the lead role here, a casting coup so inspired that it makes it impossible to imagine the film without their presence. They weave between light and darkness in ways that anyone familiar with the tale should expect, and their eloquence and verbosity perfectly matches the way that the bifurcated character is written. It's a shame that Chambers, so good in the aforementioned Chicken, cannot come close to matching Izzard. His character seems a bit too resigned to failure in the first half of the movie, but then becomes far too easygoing and unguarded in time for the third act to play out. Watkins is fine in his role, Duncan is enjoyable for her limited amount of screentime, and Robyn Cara plays a figure from Rob's past who may end up jeopardising the job that he needs to keep hold of. Oh, there's also a cameo from Simon Callow, who is used well for his fleeting appearance.

This is very good stuff, although it's never as intriguing or transgressive as it could have been. It's messy, especially when it falls apart during the final scenes, but it's full of elements to admire, from the characterisations to the commentary on "big pharma", and recommended to those after something that nicely blends the familiar with a sprinkling of modern freshness.

7/10

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